Is Winning the Game What Really Matters. You Choose?

We all love playing cards and board games, right? Well, no and for good reason. It’s not always just a game. Let me explain.

I was recently playing UNO with my kids while on holiday. We were visiting southern New South Wales and had been on the road all day. So, it was time to chill, technology free.

The boys are 14 and 16 now so are pretty good at games, and quite competitive, but as you know some of it is skill, and a lot of it is luck, because in UNO it really depends who you take your turn after and if they are going to be kind to you with the choices they make, or competitive and brutal.

A good example of this is my husband, James, who is usually the nicest guy on the planet, but on this occasion he was next to me and was surprisingly brutal when reversing play or switching the colours as you can do in UNO. My point is you can’t always pick it.

Then James went to cook us some dinner while I kept playing with the boys. It was getting competitive, and James had won two times in a row before he bowed out. So, the boys felt they had more of a chance to sweep the floor with me and each other. Especially my younger son, who is the more competitive of the two and really wants to win.

But, I won the next two games convincingly and brutally, following in the footsteps of my husband. The boys are older now, so they can handle it. Or so I thought. As we began the next game, I could feel my youngest son getting a little frustrated with losing or not winning, and his cards were going down a little harder.  

Sometimes you get to choose between how you win or lose

I was dealt my cards and they were good. So, I got rid of them fast and was down to two with a wildcard as my last card. I couldn’t lose. But, I now had to make an interesting choice. I either obliterate my competitors, as I had just done in the previous two games and enjoy the satisfaction of winning for a third time, or I pretend that I didn't have the right colour and had to pick up.

I chose the latter, which meant they both got to keep playing and I got to see my boys play together longer. The benefit to me was seeing my boys interact. My choice gave them a chance at beating their mum, experiencing a win and having a laugh while doing it.

The end result was that I didn't win, the youngest did in his own aggressive fashion and his brother won the next one. So, everyone was happy so they will be motivated to play again tomorrow. 

The alternative was one or possibly two unhappy young men, who would probably be very reluctant to want to play again at all, whether UNO or any other games.

The key message here is that I had a choice. On this occasion I made the decision to choose making our holiday as a family unit more important than winning a game against my boys. We all have choices to make in situations that can escalate in ways that leave someone, young or old feeling hard done by and what is the benefit in that.

I still believe kids need to learn how to win, lose or draw, but there are times when you as the adult get to choose the outcome for the benefit of others. To check your own behaviour in the heat of the moment, and enjoy the positives that come out of it.